The night time is the wrong time
- John DeSantis
- Feb 12, 2020
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 25, 2020
Bedtime for small kids can be a great thing for everyone. It signifies the conclusion of what was (hopefully) a good day with your family. You all may have ventured out to your day to day careers, schools, daycares, or at-home routine. Now after returning to your tribe mostly unscathed and probably exhausted, after spending what quality time you had with them you’re settling down to get your kids prepared to sleep. We all need this to get the rest necessary to function in what resembles somewhat of a human manner the following day.
Bedtime might be preceded with some collaboration like homework, or helping them clean up their mess, bath time, maybe a TV show, reading some stories, and whatever else works to get your kids to understand that you‘ll do it all again tomorrow and them getting a sufficient amount of sleep keeps a semblance of order and avoidance of anarchy. In a perfect world this routine would run efficiently and on time, but think of this more like mass transit: you’re subject to breakdowns, delays, derailments, blown tires, and traffic jams.
Some kids might give some resistance to going to bed. Inconceivably, it seems like they’ve developed a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) as the young folk call it. For a 3 or 5 year old, FOMO is mostly just a manifestation of them not wanting you to do anything other than spend your every waking minute with them. If they think you’re going to do something like a load of laundry, clean dishes, eat dinner at 9PM, go to the bathroom, or generally just breathe with your eyes open, kids will fight sleep like the night owes them money.
Our 3 year old is one such member of this sleep resistance. Kids like this have more excuses than used car salesmen when it comes to bedtime. All of a sudden they need to brush their teeth again. They want water. They have to go to the bathroom again as a result. They want a different pair of socks. Other kids like our 5 year old have sleep patterns that seem more akin to the elderly. You read them a story and they might be asleep before it’s over like they’re sitting in a La-Z-Boy recliner watching Blue Bloods or Matlock reruns.
Whatever works to get your kid to sleep one night might not work the next. Remember you’re guiding a wild animal to do something whose benefits they have no concept of: rest. When kids don’t get rest they can act crazy, or at least crazier than usual. And most of the time in my experience, when they go to sleep later they don’t wake up any later the next day. So you’re now dealing with a tired kid who has no time for reason. In those moments you can find yourself face to face with your own personal Joker, an agent of chaos. Whatever works to calm your kids after the sun goes down are just more items for your parenting toolbox. Store and remember them, with any luck they may work again.
If they don’t get sleep it likely means you don’t get sleep, so go get that rest you’ve all earned.
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