The good, the bald, and the ugly
- John DeSantis
- Nov 20, 2019
- 3 min read
My sons never knew me with hair. I lost it before they entered my life. As a result I won’t be able to hold the guilt of causing their father to molt over them when they get older. My wife met me when I still had hair, and she's seen it slowly take extended leaves of absence and sabbaticals until one day it left with bags packed never to return again. If my hair serenaded me with a song as it finally departed for the last time, it would likely be John Legend's "Where Did My Baby Go." Aptly, that song would end up on one of my neurotic bedtime playlists made when my oldest son was a 1 year old.
I wonder would my sons recognize me with that old look, hair caked in gel and mismanaged with more time than I would have spent on it had I known it would ultimately abandon me. In hindsight, I should have donned a mohawk or mullet for fun at some point. Regrets, I’ve had a few.
I also shaved my head in my younger days, an easy haircut with my round bulbous head inherited from my grandfather on my mother’s side. He too was bald my entire life that I’d known him, and he passed his proud round skull down to the grandson fittingly named after him. Life prepared me for this, and at least 2 of my sons have also inherited the fortune of this volleyball head passed down from generation’s past, so much so that I’ve mistakenly called them “Wilson” on occasion.
Several years of my 30's now though, I have found a silver lining. I see the conflict of men my age who didn't become folically challenged until later in life. It's different to abandon your roots (hair) in your mid or late 20's, especially when you've experimented extensively with voluntary baldness before. It’s an easier decision.
Now I see the struggle of these men trying to navigate the new real estate plot of land above eye level. Technology has brought us an infinite cache of knowledge, resources, and the ability to order a pair of Star Wars underwear on a whim in the middle of the night with free shipping. One thing it hasn't provided is a way to hide a combover or some innovative attempt at one, barring surgical help.
There are more important issues in our lives to fret about, do what you will to your hair without worry, your world won’t come to a standstill. Your kids will still love you, and think of all the money you’ll save not having to pay for haircuts anymore! You can divert that money over to their grooming funds and admire the myriad of hairstyle choices they now have as they head to the salon or sit in the barber’s chair.
The ease of letting one's hair go when it's time to say goodbye and not giving a last ditch effort at wooing it back, is one less thing to worry about when you have the everyday rigors of a family and work life to balance. It’s also entertaining to see the confusion on your kids’ face when they assume every bearded bald man wearing glasses is you. Winters are easier when you can just throw a hat on your head without worrying what kind of mess will be under it when you get to work.
To all my balding brothers going through the struggle now, fear not, for the ones that truly love you will do so with or without the hair, whether receding or long, coiffed or in pompadour, in sickness and in health, with or without a part.
Listening to:
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